Cumpleanos Feliz

Right. So the maricachi´s show up. At 7 in the morning. The normal troop is decked out in blue matador garb. The singers, however have dawned different outfits to celebrate the occasions. The old school Ray Charles imperonator has a purple matador outfil replete with frillies, and the young Enrique Iglesias sans face mole has chosen to go with the purple ensemble.

Thus the mayor and his enterprise of followers all form a half circle in the yard as if they had been practicing for the last six days. I get signaled over to stand next to the director of my school, at the far end of the half circle, almost out of view. I am the least important person as this party clearly. Thus the mariachi´s bust out some hits, and I got to admit they are pretty good. Ray Charles takes all of the old school ballads, while Enrique chimes in to add that extra modern flavor. Then Enrique starts the ¨I am going to start clapping, so you all follow suit¨routine WITH THE MAYOR AND HIS CABINET. ¨

Here´s me: ¨Are you out of your mind Enrique? This works with third graders, but as soon as you hit fifth grade the clapping has got to go. ESPECIALLY at 7 in the morning. I mean you have a shot if the mayor and his boys spent the past night boozing so hard that they woke up intoxicated, but c´mon.¨

Here´s the mayor: (Clap Clap Clap Clap)

Here´s me: (Clap Clap Clap Clap) Again I take a quick check over my shoulder to see the candid camera guy laughing hysterically. No dice, but I do manage to see THE WHITE GIRLS! YIPPEEE we´re saved.

As soon as the white girls arrive about six men all simultaneously leave their place in the half circle to escort the white girls directly next to the mayor, and, get this, they ask his wife to sidestep so that the whities can be next to the mayor. (don´t forget everyone is still clap clap clapping). The mariachi´s are pumped that the gringas are in the house and their entrance also moves me to the far end of the half circle. I pretty much should sit down, or grab a soccer ball and run front and center to snap the team photo.

We listen to a couple more numbers and finally get to sit down under a delightful little canopy that has been prepared in honor of the mayor´s breakfast. The Gringas get to sit next to the mayor. I get to sit at a place without silverware. Great.

Nevertheless the mayor finally acknowledges my existence and welcomes me to the table. Another person gets up and gives a nice toast about being in nature and how great the mayor is. I drink about ten million glasses of delicious juice. We eat empanadas. The mayor gives his toast and then leaves to go drink beers and attend a soccer game in Quito.

It´s 8:15 in the morning. I have been awake for almost two hours. Wonder what they´re going to do for my birthday?