Ecuadorian BBALL
I am going to try a like/dislike column here about Ecuadorian Basketball a la oneof those cheezy best and worst lists. Here it goes.
1) I like that Ecuadorian basketball is up tempo because that means more running and thus more exercise, which is why I play basketball in the first place but....I don´t like that this gives the guys on my team cart blanche to chuck basketballs all over the gym like we are having tryouts for who can turn the ball over the most number of times in the least number of minutes.
2) I like that playing zone defense.....wait I HATE playing zone defense. The only time it was ever fun was last year in the Town School tournament when the 1996´ers miraculously switched to a zone to stifle the 1999´ers. But when you play zone on principle it´s just boring. I would much rather match up with one guy and go toe to toe with him for two hours.
3) I like that there are refs at the games so that you don´t have the inevitable MarinaCourtsBasketball yelling match every five minutes but..... I don´t like that said refs apply a ridiculous Gringo tax to every single game. It´s absolutely unreal. If I am going up for a shot and I get absolutely mugged NO problem. However if an TeenyWeeny is attempting a shot and I am within the same time zone I will be sure to get whistled for a foul. Plus the refs have an unbelieveable obsession with calling walking, because they have never seen long legs before. Yes Mr Ref it´s possible to get to the free throw line in two steps when you are taller than 5 foot 7. It´s just a fact of life. For those of you who have seen my College Lacrosse coach get mad you would know that the reffing in Ecuador would cause him to kick the box cone about seven thousand times per minute.
4) I like that we play indoors in a ¨Coliseo.¨It´s very important sounding and it´s always easier to shoot indoors but.... I don´t like that the indoor court we play on has a key the size of the Pacific Ocean. Last night I got called for a three second violation while lining up for a three pointer. Brutal.
5) I like that Ecuadorians love offense because it makes the game more exciting but.... I don´t like that this offense only applies to the person who has the ball. One of the most fun parts about basketball is creating shots for your teammates and this just isn´t a reality on the Ecuadorian hardwood.
6) I like that stereotype Ecuadorian hoopsters have stereotypical Gringo counterparts. Last night we played against good tall athlete who has no clue how to shoot a free throw and inevitably hurls the ball against the backboard as hard as he can, old sweaty man who is all about the fundamentals, fat man who is only onthe team because he likes to drink beer after the game, young guy who tries exceedingly hard to hustle to impress his old man, uncoordinated guy with ugly shooting form that somehow finds a way to make every shot he takes, and weird looking smelly guy that gets open shots because everyone is afraid they might get fleas. Can´t say there is anything I don´t like about old man all star YMCA basketball players except for the fact that I will inevitably turn into Backsweat sound fundamentals guy when I can no longer run.
7) I like that we have a good team and that we have fun playing together but....I don´t like that the people in charge of the league are trying to ensure that we cannot play together in the next round because we have foreigners. Apparently a lot of people resent the fact that white guys can play basketball but their argument is ridiculous. I pay taxes in this country, receive mail, and have an address. Plus Colombians and Peruvians play in the soccer leagues. Plus there are white people who play in the University Leagues. Couldn´t be dumber. We´ll see what happens.
8) I like basketball, but I am finally developing an appreciation for Lacrosse again. I definitely miss it, and when I get back to the states am definitely going to fire up club ball for sure.
Sorry for the technical basketball entry without much else, but I am pretty tied up during the day with other boring committments. You can always ask the WhiskeyBowler to translate any references you don´t understand. Thanks for reading.
-kanetrain
1) I like that Ecuadorian basketball is up tempo because that means more running and thus more exercise, which is why I play basketball in the first place but....I don´t like that this gives the guys on my team cart blanche to chuck basketballs all over the gym like we are having tryouts for who can turn the ball over the most number of times in the least number of minutes.
2) I like that playing zone defense.....wait I HATE playing zone defense. The only time it was ever fun was last year in the Town School tournament when the 1996´ers miraculously switched to a zone to stifle the 1999´ers. But when you play zone on principle it´s just boring. I would much rather match up with one guy and go toe to toe with him for two hours.
3) I like that there are refs at the games so that you don´t have the inevitable MarinaCourtsBasketball yelling match every five minutes but..... I don´t like that said refs apply a ridiculous Gringo tax to every single game. It´s absolutely unreal. If I am going up for a shot and I get absolutely mugged NO problem. However if an TeenyWeeny is attempting a shot and I am within the same time zone I will be sure to get whistled for a foul. Plus the refs have an unbelieveable obsession with calling walking, because they have never seen long legs before. Yes Mr Ref it´s possible to get to the free throw line in two steps when you are taller than 5 foot 7. It´s just a fact of life. For those of you who have seen my College Lacrosse coach get mad you would know that the reffing in Ecuador would cause him to kick the box cone about seven thousand times per minute.
4) I like that we play indoors in a ¨Coliseo.¨It´s very important sounding and it´s always easier to shoot indoors but.... I don´t like that the indoor court we play on has a key the size of the Pacific Ocean. Last night I got called for a three second violation while lining up for a three pointer. Brutal.
5) I like that Ecuadorians love offense because it makes the game more exciting but.... I don´t like that this offense only applies to the person who has the ball. One of the most fun parts about basketball is creating shots for your teammates and this just isn´t a reality on the Ecuadorian hardwood.
6) I like that stereotype Ecuadorian hoopsters have stereotypical Gringo counterparts. Last night we played against good tall athlete who has no clue how to shoot a free throw and inevitably hurls the ball against the backboard as hard as he can, old sweaty man who is all about the fundamentals, fat man who is only onthe team because he likes to drink beer after the game, young guy who tries exceedingly hard to hustle to impress his old man, uncoordinated guy with ugly shooting form that somehow finds a way to make every shot he takes, and weird looking smelly guy that gets open shots because everyone is afraid they might get fleas. Can´t say there is anything I don´t like about old man all star YMCA basketball players except for the fact that I will inevitably turn into Backsweat sound fundamentals guy when I can no longer run.
7) I like that we have a good team and that we have fun playing together but....I don´t like that the people in charge of the league are trying to ensure that we cannot play together in the next round because we have foreigners. Apparently a lot of people resent the fact that white guys can play basketball but their argument is ridiculous. I pay taxes in this country, receive mail, and have an address. Plus Colombians and Peruvians play in the soccer leagues. Plus there are white people who play in the University Leagues. Couldn´t be dumber. We´ll see what happens.
8) I like basketball, but I am finally developing an appreciation for Lacrosse again. I definitely miss it, and when I get back to the states am definitely going to fire up club ball for sure.
Sorry for the technical basketball entry without much else, but I am pretty tied up during the day with other boring committments. You can always ask the WhiskeyBowler to translate any references you don´t understand. Thanks for reading.
-kanetrain
posted by ecuadortraveler at 8:58 AM
5 Comments:
Dear Ecuador Traveler:
You're being fined one month of your new salary for criticizing the refs. There is definitely no "witch hunt" for white guys in Ecuador.
phil jackson
why not bring lacrosse to ecuador! START A REVOLUTION!
your blog makes Modern Real Estate law pass more quickly
BIG KANE DOGGY! I love it man...
"The only time it was ever fun was last year in the Town School tournament when the 1996´ers miraculously switched to a zone to stifle the 1999´ers."
I almost spat out my Old Style on that one.
Dude, your descriptions of all the various ballers put me in the gym. I could see all of it. All you need is the kid who can't really dribble or shoot so they set about 2 predictable screens everytime down the floor, just floating from freethrow line to freethrow line.
I hope all is well, we miss you man.
P.S. I'm posting my Spring Training post tonight in which I talk at length about the Cubs/Giants game I attended in the Scottsdale sun last week. Check it out.
I'm with Whiskey Bowler that your descriptions definitely put me in the gym. And all I would add would be the flopper-who-twists-his-ankle-when-he-screws-up-and-blames-you-cause-you-sunk-it-in-his-face. Maybe they don't have those types in Ecuador though.
Miss you and thanks for the laughs.
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