Anti-Climactic

Have you ever seen that book called "1000 things to do before you die?" It became a staple for me during trips to the bathroom last summer. The book basically outlines ridiculously awesome things to do all around the world. You have your staples like the Taj, Big Ben, The Eiffel Tower, and then some more under the radar attractions like a Baptist Church service in southern Georgia.



Naturally I decided that it would probably be a good idea to look up the entries under Ecuador, considering the fact that after I leave this place there is a slim chance that I am going to fire it up for round 2. The first entry was a no brainer. Ecuador's Taj is The Galapagos, and this reputation is well deserved. However the under the radar entry for Ecaudor sparked my interest almost immediately. Here's a quote from a random 100 things to do before you do web site:



Ecuador's train The Devil's Nose starts in the modest town of Riobamba, high in the Andes. A ride on the trans-Andean is exhilarating. People travel inside the carriages or on the roof, hanging on for grim death. Track laying began in 1899 and was a monumental feat, crossing desert, rainforests, bridged rivers and perpendicular rock walls more than 3000 metres above sea level. It reached Quito in 1908. It was then a steam train, but now runs with a French diesel engine.....


Whoa whoa whoa miss lippy. Hanging on for grim death? Can anybody say, "Sign me up?"

Thus when Ally's best friend came to Ecuador we decided to all check out the famed Devil's Nose, or Nariz del Diablo, for ourselves. I talked to some of my Ecuadorian friends and consulted the LP to get the low down. After some careful research we decided to head to Riobamba on Saturday night, stay in the famed Train hotel that serves 5AM breakfast so that we could all "do" the Nariz train at 6AM.



Quick note. Does it piss off anyone else when they hear people traveling in a country say stuff like, "Hey have you done the Galapagos?" "Yeah I have done the Galapagos and tomorrow we are going to do Cuenca. I think that after living in a country and meshing with the actual citizens that hearing people treat a country like a series of stopping points just kind of gets on your nerves. I find myself often resenting foreigners in Ecaudor, like they don't really know what they are doing. Ironic I guess, but probably part of most people's experience who actually immerse themselves in a country.



Anyway the bus ride to Riobamba was uneventful, probably because Riobamba is a pretty uneventful place in its own right. The only thing about Riobamba that Ecuadorians know is that it is cold (people refer to the town as Frio-bamba) (unless you are a climber-Riobamba provides great access to Ecaudor's tallest peaks). After a five hour ride we plunked down in the hotel, which was actually quite nice, and tried to get some last minute sleep before the big train ride. Grim death here we come!!!



After finishing breakfast we got to the train station all pumped to check off one more thing on our 1000 things to do before we die lists. Though we found out when we got to the station that the train was full, we were elated to later find out that we could still catch a bus to Alausi, a nearby town, and take an abbreviated train ride that still included the famed nariz. Whew. Though initially disappointed, we were soon elated at the fact that we would not actually have to spend 6 hours on a train and then take a two hour bus ride back to Riobamba. Our whole viewing of the nariz would take less than 5 hours round trip.

Fast forward to Alausi, mostly because I was asleep for the whole bus ride because it was 6t in the morning. Alausi is a fantastic town. One of those places that immediately grabs you as beautiful the minute you lay eyes on it. The town was bustling with people accomplishing various odd jobs, had a cool indigenous market, and the sun brilliantly radiated the surrounding mountains. All disappointment at missing the train was completely admonished. We were in a beautiful town, we had our bus tickets for the nariz and everything seemed to be moving along swimmingly.

After a delicious breakfast in Alausi we headed for the train station to brave the grim death of the Nariz. As we loaded into the train I felt like one does at the bottom of a roller coaster ride. My excitement was only tempered by the fact that someone passed around a letter than gruffly explained that nobody was allowed on the top of the train since some goober decided to fall off a couple weeks ago.

By the way, how much do you hate when people ruin things for everyone else? In a land where riding in the back of pick up trucks is not so much a perk as a mainstay, someone was enough of a jackass that riding on top of the nariz train has since been removed as a possible activity in Ecuador.

Back to the train. Again we all felt a minor setback, but we still were ready for grim death, if only from inside a train rather than on top of one. The train started up and we set our course for the -bum bum bummmmmm- NARIZ.

Here's the scene once we got back to the train station:
Wow that was a great train ride! I mean the scenery was great, but did you see the Nariz.
No.
Me neither.
Where do you think it was?
No clue.
Kind of weird that nobody pointed it out to us right?

And that was it. I mean who in their right mind honestly opens us an attraction and never pulls their !!!Ba bada bam!!! moment? How do you miss the opportunity to tell everyone exactly where the famed nariz is. How do you not brag about the miracle of construction. The conductors of the train literally just drove us around on the tracks, parked the train, and then told us to get off. Even when we specifically told them that we wanted to know exactly where the nariz was.

Not to mention that "grim death" felt more like "Sunday drive." What a joke. I have never been less scared in my life. Which basically brings up two points. One is why the writers of 1000 things to do before you die made such a hoopla about the nariz train. Maybe it was just much cooler from on top of the train, but who knows? Secondly why does a main Ecuadorian tourist attraction fail to carpe diem?

I think both answers lie in the within the realm of expectations. I almost felt like one does when walking out of a so-so movie that all your friends hype up as the second coming of pure awesomeness. Expectations shape our reactions to things so severely, that sometimes we can ruin our perception of how truly are for just us. Though I hate ending blog entries with "Words of Wisdom," Ecuador has really taught me the importance of listening to recommendations, but tempering expectations so that experiences can be taken in from a fresh first person point of view.

Shock Value

Have you ever experienced an event that someone else thought was totally going to freak you out/shock you, but didn't at all? It kind of stinks for the person who is all excited to show you something out and you just kind of look and go, "Uh yeah. Cool dude."

Some obvious examples might be when someone tells you a joke that you already know. Or when someone shows you something when you have already seen a cooler version, such as how to get an extra life in Mario Bros 3 by flying up in the clouds, and then you turn around and jump on those ducks that reasemble their bones like 150 times and end up with 100 extra lives. There are just moments in life when you people try to amaze you, but you have just been there before. I had one of these moments big time last week, but the stage that the event was set on seemed super interesting to me.

Being gay in Ecuador would absolutely suck. I think Ally wrote an entry on her blog a couple months ago about a student who came out to her understanding that Ally, a foreigner, was the only person in the whole country who he felt comfortable coming out to. In a Catholic Country where even birth control is scorned, being homosexual just doesn't sit well with a lot of people. I don't think that there are any parents in Ecuador who would pat Jimmy on the head and tell them that whatever he decides is the right decision. Jimmy would probably get knocked upside the head and told to go to a brothel to get his head straight.

Quito has taken some steps to change this situation. There are actual GLBT clubs in Quito where people can go to meet GLBT people. Nonetheless I have met homosexual people in Quito who are openly gay, but refuse to tell even their close friends when they are actually dating someone. Just the way the culture works down here. Thus I found it interesting when two friends (both gay men) of my program invited all of their white gringo friends to a theatrical show that would feature-oh my god-a performance by a man dressed like a woman.

When they asked us it was almost as if they thought we would all completely jump out of our seats and start having our heads spin around on our shoulders like the exorcist. Not being the type of person to turn down an invitation to a new experience, and also not wanting to upset the friends of our program, of course we all said yes.

The car ride was hilarious. We might as well have been going to the bat cave. I was suprised that someone didn't blind fold me so that I wouldn't be able to mentally record where we were headed. After we turned off the main street we suddenly started turning every which direction until we found an unmarked parking space. We then walked into a building, unmarked, and up these crotchety wooden stairs.

Once we entered, however, was a completely different story. The theater was like something out of an art deco MTV episode of cribs. A ridiculously cool looking building with cool statues, hard wood chairs and tables with a real beatnik feel. Very cool. There wasn't a soul in the theater when we got there, but once we sat down people started appearing out of the woodwork. Reminded me of the come to me jungle friends apartment scene in Ace Ventura. We might have gotten to the show unfashionably early or something, but it still struck me as weird.

NOTE: There are some words in Spanish that are exactly the same in English, but they are spoken in this weird funny accent. "Show" is one of those words. Everyone in Ecuador always says, "Quieres ir al show (sounds like seeoh)?" or "Quieres ir al Shopping? (sounds like seeohping)" when they invite you to a show or to hit the mall. Very strange. The only fun one is "full time" when you are working long hours in ecuador you can say, "He estado trabajando full time (fool teyem).

Anyway the show opened with a magician who was one of those magicians who has no talent, but does have a suitcase with awesome gadgets and tricks. Kind of lame except for one trick in which he was smoking a cigarette, threw it on the ground, and then pulled another lit cigarette out of thin air-10 times. Right on.

After the magician, came the man dressed like a woman-and this is where the point of my story hit home. When the man dressed like a woman came out on stage, the Ecaudorians we were with rifled their heads to look at my face. How is this guy going to react? Will he flip out? Will his head explode? Will he have a heart attack? Will earth reverse its spin direction?

Wait.....Kane looks normal.....

Why is he not freaking out? What planet did this kid come from? He looks normal, like this is not the most shocking thing that he has ever seen in his whole life. How could this be true?

Gents I have news for you. I grew up in San Francisco. I felt not only like that guy who already knows the joke as soon as someone starts to tell it, but the guy who hears someone tell a joke, and knows the better version. I wanted to grab these two guys and plunk them in the middle of the Castro or in some of the all school meetings I witnessed at my high school. What would they think? Do you think their heads would explode? The fact that I wasn't fazed by the man dressed like a woman completely floored the two guys that I was hanging out with. In their effort to shock me, they ended up having the tables be completely turned. Ecuadorian GLBT people in Quito feel that they have a strong sense of community, but this community includes escapes to the batcave and not being able to talk to your friends about your love interests.

Shocking.